Mindfulness as Ordinary; Mindfulness as Special - Priscilla M. Koop, PhD
Photo courtesy of Priscilla Koop
Recently, a valued mentor suggested that as an MBSR teacher, I maintain sight of the fact that mindfulness is actually quite ordinary. I appreciated this discussion. All of us have had the experience of paying attention, of being utterly present during an event. At some level, we were also aware that we were paying attention as the event unfolded and did so without judging or trying to change it in any way. That is mindfulness!
What is not ordinary, I think, is the day-to-day habit of this non-judgemental presence. While special events may fully capture my attention, much of the time, I find my mind revisiting the past or anticipating the future. If what is happening is unpleasant, I may find myself thinking, “This isn’t fair,” or “It shouldn’t be this way.” During pleasant events, I may try to hang onto the passing moment, wishing it were always this way. These reactions are entirely normal, but when they become a pattern, they can lead to an inability to fully experience the moment.
Having a meditation practice helps me experience more of both the special and ordinary events of my life. I notice the judgemental thoughts without being carried away by them – not always, but certainly more often. I can smile at these urges to push away or hang onto thoughts and events, and then settle into what is actually happening in this very moment.
But that’s the dilemma, isn’t it? Actually sitting (or standing or lying down or walking) for a half hour or more every day! Where to find the time? Where and when to practice so that we aren’t disturbed by family, pets, the doorbell, the phone! How to keep up this practice even when there seem to be so many other things we could be doing? And so, when I am actually meditating, sometimes there is an expectation that I should be experiencing something special! I feel disappointed when I notice my thoughts racing and my to-do list intruding.
That’s when I find it useful to remind myself, “This is how it is.” Mindfulness isn’t special. It is dead ordinary. But it can be messy. It is the expectation that it be special that can be the problem. Thoughts intrude as do family members, pets, doorbells and phones. The invitation is to notice. And then, with gentle persistence and practice, we find ourselves noticing life itself. And that is special.
Priscilla M. Koop, PhD is an MBSR teacher and a consultant with the Mindfulness Institute.ca.